Movin' On Up

To the east side. The far east side.

The move is impending. I've been driving myself crazy attempting to organize and pack up my apartment. For some reason, the more I work, the more cluttered and messy everything seems to get! I've still got four or five days to get the rest of it done; my goal is to just make a little progress each day.

That is, if I'm making any progress at all.

Three years ago, I was determined to get the hell out of this slow, boring, po-dunk state. Now I'm scared to leave. Well-- not scared, exactly. The scary part is learning my way around a new environment. The leaving part is more nostalgia. Things I've seen a thousand times over suddenly seem immensely important. Stores and restaurants in Anderson that I've never even been in-- I feel like I'm losing something. What if, the next time I'm home, The Lemon Drop has been bulldozed? What if Harvest Market goes out of business and becomes vacant? And what if, after that happens, I completely forget that these places existed at all?

I'm not good with letting go. Never have been. In fact, this is one reason why moving is such a chore for me: I want to keep EVERYTHING.

Indiana will always be home for me, I think. It's where I was born. It's where I grew up. I know my way around the streets. It's where all my friends and family are. And that's probably the biggest pain for me: the people. I want to see Mahlon grow up. I want to see Layla learn to walk. I want to be close to Niles. I want to help Lila with boy troubles; I want to support Mom when she's overwhelmed. Not that I can't do that from Philadelphia; it's just going to be a lot harder.