Block 3

Technically in class. Not really listening. But it's nothing I haven't heard before.

My computer has come back from the dead! For reasons still unknown, it started freezing, spasming, and giving me the blue screen of death the day after Thanksgiving. Bubba couldn't figure it out. Took it to the IT center at Temple, who couldn't find any viruses on it. I had to take it back the next day so the IT guys could essential kill it, then resuscitate it.

I had most everything saved on my hard drive, but now for some reason it won't load. But my computer works-- and that's good enough.

Was halfway sick and rundown the first week back. I was hoping that they'd ease us into the new block, but it was wild. Reading assignments, daily group work, weekly quizzes.... Which would be as bad if the course wasn't incredibly and frustratingly disorganized!! And the amount of the reading assignments-- I don't understand how they think we have the time to finish it!

At least I'm feeling less sickly. Still got a bit of a throat tickle, and I got an obscene amount of rest over the weekend. I think it was worth it, because I'm feeling a bit more "with it" mentally today. And it was a good weekend to rest, because Philly got its first snow. It started Saturday evening and went all night. There's still a bit accumulated in the grass...

If nothing else, at least I won't have to worry about a midterm until after winter break.

Deadlines

I've been meaning to update for the past week or so. It's been an excessively busy week . . . and a lot of it has been stress regarding the upcoming exam. There's just too much to know!! Even though I've been studying for two weeks, I feel like I barely know the material any better, which makes the whole process all the more exhausting.

I'm actually losing my mind a little . . . I'll forget where I put something, less than ten seconds after I set it down. It's like being drunk, without the sloppy carefree joy and senselessly heightened self-esteem. I feel like I have stress-induced hypoglycemia. If I don't eat every few hours, I get nauseous and light-headed. The feeling gets progressively worse until it's pretty much debilitating, even after I eat something. My answer? Eat. Simple enough.

Excited to see the family over Thanksgiving, though I think I might be a little ambitious to take on a twelve-hour drive after the effect this exam is having on me. (On the other hand, maybe I'll be on a high-energy kick once it's over with.) I'm especially thrilled to see Mahlon & Layla; I don't like that they're growing without me!! (How dare they!)

Must remember to get an oil change tomorrow . . .

In other events-- learned how to feel a liver this week. (It's not easy.) I met up with my preceptor and reviewed a video-taped history-taking session, which wasn't quite as embarrassing as I figured. Thursday night I volunteered at a clinic through TempleCARES at a local women's shelter. I got to practice talking to patients, and I got some exposure to almost disturbingly real scenarios. I enjoyed it though, and it was well worth the two hours of study time I sacrificed. There were a lot of kids running around the shelter, most of whom wanted attention from us. I helped one little girl listen to her heart with my stethoscope.

Getting late. Need sleep for energy tomorrow.

Incredibly Idle

The school decided to do a massive network test after lecture today... I think they're just trying to get as many people online as possible to see if we can crash the server. And of course, to synchronize three to four hundred users, it takes some organization, it takes some time . . . Time which I could be using to actually do something. Or to rest.

Funny thought: during undergrad, I never would've started studying for an exam -- even a final exam -- two weeks in advance. A funnier thought is that I won't ace it -- which actually has little to do with my intelligence and more to do with the amount of material.

In undergrad, I never would've been satisfied with 79% on an exam. Funny thought.

Metabolizing

I am a lecture and a half behind. Forget even thinking about reviewing! My current enemy: metabolic pathways of amino acids. Seriously. There's a different pathway for each one, and they all have synthesis, degradation, interconversion, transamination, and a large pool of products they can make. It's enough to make your brain explode.

So, even though class was blissfully over at noon today, I'm in the library with my notes and every color highlighter I could find, and I'm not leaving until I've absorbed this week's material. And maybe reviewed a little. This is no time to be distracted by Jon Stewart. Or by blogging.

Tonight would be good for scary movie night.. If no one in the class is interested, I'll do it myself :)

Looking Ahead (and behind)

Final exam in two weeks. Time has a way of creeping up on me. Feeling very behind. The librarian (he's ultra-cool) told me, when he saw me in the library on one of our days off a week ago: there is no getting ahead in med school. I told him, I'm aware of that; I'm just trying to get as little behind as possible.

Long day today. It's going to be an 8 to 5:30. (Approximately two hours of that time will not be taken up by class.) And this is an extra awesome design for a Monday, because it means I get to deal with horrible traffic both ways.

I've had very bad motivation lately; I'm not sure why. I've been incredibly tired, too. I slept a lot over the weekend, had really strange, vivid dreams. Had trouble making myself get out of bed (although if I'd had a commitment to get to, I'm sure I could have). Haven't treadmilled for about a week. Having trouble making myself focus when I study; it's very in-one-ear-and-out-the-other, which is very daunting when dealing with so much information. Not sure what's wrong with me. I don't think it's depression; I'm pretty good at identifying that. Don't feel like I'm getting sick, either. (This occurred to me at the Franklin, about halfway through my shift: a lot of people have been touching those plastinated organs . . . I'll be amazed if I don't get the flu!) Maybe it's just a minor burn-out. Maybe it's a matter of inertia.

Wanting to come home for Thanksgiving -- but do I fly or drive? (If the latter, I should be booking it soon. You know, the whole time-creeping-up-on-me thing.) And what do I do with Kitty for four days? (That litter box would get reeeaaallly full.) More things to think about . . .

Eat Fish, Live Longer

. . . . . . . Maybe.

Good News!!

I finally have internet in my apartment! (Just in time, too, because suddenly the lectures can only be viewed while online.) We got the modem connected on Saturday, and I spent most of the afternoon being angry because I couldn't get the wireless router to work. Yesterday, I enlisted a male classmate to fix it, luring him in with the promise of taco salad. (It's really good taco salad! I've been pretty proud of my culinary skills lately...) It actually took him a good while to figure it out -- which made me feel a bit better about my futile struggle... So now maybe I'll get more studying done while at school, now that I don't have to use my internet time for my essential crosswords and facebooking... Or maybe I'll just blog much more often. Or I'll end up skipping class because I get to bed way way later due to streaming cartoons in my bedroom. We'll see.

To sweeten the deal, we got the first six months for $20, instead of the regular $45 or so that was quoted on their pricing pamphlet. And the cable guy gave Mr. Kitty a new name: King Julian. (Madagascar, anyone?) It's actually very appropriate: he believes he's king, and acts like it, despite what anyone tells him or whatever might happen that proves otherwise.

SEPTA -- the Philly public transit system -- is on strike, starting at 3 AM today. This is sort of what we get for living in a pro-union city. SEPTA went on strike in 2005, lasting 7 days. Before that, there was a strike in the '90s that lasted 40 days... (It was, quite literally, of biblical proportions.) Times like this, I'm glad to live in the suburbs & drive!